14. 2016

This past year for me has not been the best. I've lost a family member for ever, I've discovered things about people I thought where really there for me, I've had my heart broken into a million pieces and I've had arguments that I wish had never happened. But also some things have been okay and some things have been amazing. This summer was amazing with my now ex boyfriend and my now ex best friend its just a shame that it had to ben the way it did. I've hit another low point this year, but I'm slowly coming back up and I'm feeling stronger, not as strong as I was at the beginning of this year but given some time I hope to be better again. I'm ready for 2016, I'm ready to make this year epic and one of the best of my life. I'm ready to be happy with myself, I'm ready to laugh with my friends and family, I'm ready for the challenges that I know my school work will bring and I'm ready to have fun! 2016? BRING IT ON!!! 

13. fake friends

Some people will hate you because your strength reminds them of their own weakness you can't let the hate get you down. People you thought where friends can pick you up and drop you down when its convent for them. A friend should know when you need them and be there without you having to ask. Friends don't listen to what other people think about you because they know and live the real you. Friends shouldn't use you or say mean things to you or about you, they are true and they love you, not the new and improved you but the same old you they know you will always be. It takes time to find them as I'm not sure that I have found a true friends yet. but when you do, don't let them go. On the path of finding friends, real ones, you will meet some people who will use you, who won't be there for you and who may even betray you. Your job is not to get hurt. Stay strong and live with the knowledge that their is  light  at the end of your path, until then live also with the reminder that people already think your amazing and love you. Keep doing you, after all its better to be hated for what you are then loved for what you aren't. 

12. music

I myself have always been a firm believer in music making people feel better, cheering them up, letting them cry, empowering them etc.. Everyone has their own taste in music and so naturally you will like some and not others. I have always been one for indie rock, rock, punk, soft rock bands like green day, fall out boy (witch I am currently listening too!) arctic monkeys, rolling stones, beetles, queen, blink-182, my chemical romance, panic! at the disco, the kooks, all time low, kings of leon, kaizer chiefs, nirvana, the killers, m83, all america rejects, the foo fighters and the list goes on. I have also been not a fan of music such as 1D, 5 seconds of summer, Justin biber, adele, or pop music in general. Being a teenage girl I get judged a lot for that. Its not fun but in the same breath it dosent really bother me to much. I talk a lot about expressing your opinion and celebrating differences and music is something I am very passionate about and I often get called EMO, and GOTHIC things like she's DEPRESSED and MESSED UP! You get to hear things like THATS JUST NOISE! Yeah to you, that band cheered me up, gave me hope when there was noting to be hopeful for, they made me laugh when nothing was funny. that band saved me, and they mean a lot to me. Just another example of speaking with out thinking. Think before you open that month of yours. 

11. merry christmas

Just a short stop by today to say I won't be posting again now until Tuesday 29th of December due to holiday plans with my family. I wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy new year (although I will be specking to you before then) filled with good opportunities and lots of happy memories with the people you love and care about the most. stay safe and happy. xxxx 

10. I LOVE YOU

This is going to be a short one, but loving yourself is so important and when I saw this i actually teared up. Saying that you love yourself may help it become easier to actually do and believe with your whole hart.

I LOVE YOU !!!!

9. YOUR life

If life is an empty notebook, and all you need to do is find the pen, when that notebook is full would you pass it on to another? Maybe a son, daughter, nice or nephew? would you let that book be theres to base their life upon, to learn valuable lessons they are going to need? Is your notebook something you are willing to share, is your notebook something you love or something you would toss in the fire? If I then gave you a bottle of white-out is there much you would remove? 

8. feeling broken

 All humans are capable of feeling the same set of emotions. I've felt broken. I've felt worthless. I've had my hart broken. hard. I've felt completely helpless and small because people have gone out of their way to make me feel that. I still remember how they made me feel and even though some have apologised and I'm friends with some, what they said and did  effects my everyday life. It impacts upon the way I speak and act towards others because I decided long ago that I was going to put my walls up, lock away my heart never let anyone in. Though its been almost two years and its all stopped those walls are still not down. In fact over the past few weeks I've built them higher. I let one person in. Someone who at first made me happier then I had ever been before. As that person got closer to my friends and  family they got further away from me. Everyday it hurt more and more but I didn't want to leave, every second spent with that person made me feel like I was walking on cloud nine but every second we spent arguing or not talking made me remember what it was like before. Everything was wrong but I didn't want to move along, all I had to do was stay strong but I didn't have the energy all my hope was gone. I don't think that person realised how fragile I was, like a rag doll held together with only a few week stitches. When it all ended I tried my best to block them out completely but this person made it there mission to hurt me. All the things I asked them to keep privet they opened up to everyone. I did nothing to provoke this but the worst thing about all of this is when I needed my friends the most they treated me like nothing, like worse then nothing and I had to sit and watch them all over the person that hurt me. I did nothing because I refused to give them the pleasure of my anger, they don't even deserve that. I fell back and no one was there to catch me. But despite all this I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone. Fake friends and old lovers may follow but they won't keep up, not with me because I am awake and unafraid. I am not afraid to be forgiving, people who hurt you, they are just white noise, you may not feel it at the moment but you are strong, I am strong, you are better, and I am better. Sometimes you are better off alone. I refuse to be caught up in the way they treat me, save your reputation and keep your head up, never look back. Their not the judge so let yourself free! People will fall into place and if they don't then they are not part of your puzzle. 

7. don't stay in school?

I recently saw a video called don't stay in school by a man on youtube called boyinaband. This particular video went viral around February-march time and I'm sure many of you have probably seen it as it made its way onto several social networking platforms including youtube, reddit, Facebook, twitter and tumblr. In his video boyinaband (lets call him BIAB) discussed his opinion on the school curriculum and said that schools should change most of the mandatory subjects to optional because this would make the kids enjoy learning about them more because there not in classes that they don't particularly take interest in, BIAB also stated that he thinks if students pick more of there classes (not just the standard 4 GCSEs we chose to take in England) that the children would be more focused because they got a choice whilst forcing these children into doing something crushes some of the creativity out of them, to focus mainly on exams. I really agree with this and think that choosing our classes would make a massive difference on the level of work, focus in lessons and exam results. But this was not the main point of the video. BIAB said that schools should be teaching more of what matters is the adult world i.e. Human rights, how to get a job, first aid, mental illnesses, deadly disease and how to recognise the first sign of it, how to pay taxes and how to vote. I completely agree with him in every way! I am currently studying art, drama, geography and philosophy and don't think that my schooling is successfully teaching me all the skills I need, such as how to manage money and balance checks. Yes, I agree that schooling is teaching me the things I need to know to get qualifications but its not teaching me what to do with those qualifications or what to do with the money that those qualifications can give me. I have no idea how to get a mortgage or if I can afford it. Some people have said that its up to you parents to teach you these things, but I say that if we are not being taught something now how are we meant to teach it to our kids and how are our kids meant to teach something to there kids that none of us fully understand? What a waste of time when a qualified teacher can give us the correct information in the first place. Others have made the very valid point of: "we have the how world at our fingertips with things like google these days why can't we just find out from there?" Well I say, who told us that we should be googling important things like tax and human rights and not the square root of 6000 is when most of us don't need to know that but we do need to know about the basic things we are entitled to as humans. One of witch may I say is a valid education and I don't think the complete works of Shakespeare are very valid in my every day life. 

Now on reddit especially there has been a lot of controversy about the name of the video but its there purely to get people to click on the video, I mean I know I wouldn't click on the video if it was called "the potential problems the education system is causing and how to fix them" not very attention grabbing I mist say. Also, I think that people need to give kids a bit more credit, I mean there not all going to see the video title and say thats it, i'm never going to go to school again, this guys right as I'm sure that they know getting qualifications is important to. BIAB is not saying they aren't in any way he's simply saying that learning about tax, money, laws and basic first aid is just as important and should be incorporated into the schooling system too instead of some of the pointless stuff kinds not need to know about like how iron is extracted from it ore because I think it is somewhat stupid that I can tell you most of the periodic table but not my basic human rights or how to write a check. 
Do you agree with BIAB's statement yes? no? and why, tell me below in the comments. 

6. expressing your differences

So, for may years now i've asked questions, probably ever since I've been able to talk because I'm a very inquisitive person. But I know people who have been discouraged from asking questions in fear that they will make their parents, friends or other family members look silly, make themselves look dumb or uneducated or sometimes even in fear of getting in trouble for having an opinion that doesn't mach the next persons. There are countries in this world where people, especially girls are used, treated as a possession and don't have freedom of speech. Now you may have already figured out that expressing my opinion is one of my most favourite things, sometimes there is noting better then a good old debate, expressing you views and being able to have freedom of speech, saying and doing what you believe in and what YOU think is right, becoming what ever you want without fear of punishment or being treated without respect because you are different and you differences are not allowed to show through. This is so wrong. Agree with me or disagree with me but I'm going to say this, equality is one of the most important things in the whole world. treating people the same whether they are gay, lesbian, female, male, young, old wether the person is back or white, christen, muslim, jewish, wether they are disabled, born in the same country as you or wether they are migrants. EVERYONE SHOULD BE TREATED THE SAME! It angers me when I see people who are saying hurtful things to others about things sometimes that person themselves doesn't have control over. Homophobic comments, racist comments, stereotypical comments the list goes on. It angers me when I hear on the news that in other countries females are being treated like nothing, possessions simply being sold on for marriage, discriminated against just because they aren't men! They don't get votes, an education, an opinion or a proper job just because they aren't men! Its not fair, just because you think one thing about someone does not make it right and people, some of YOU need to understand that because it is running dreams, lives and families. There is a very fine line between believing something is right and discriminating some one because they don't do or are not what you think is right, this is not a line that can be erased because me and many others are going over it with marker because equality matters, celebrating differences matters. 

Check out this link and tell me what you think down in the comments: buzzfeed, same sex marriage

5. stereotypes

stereotyping is a thing, I'm sure most of you know, that involves judging someone and putting them into a category in our mind based off of the way they look, act, dress, there gender, race, sexuality the list goes on. almost everyone does it weather they choice to voice there opinion or not. I, like most people can admit that I stereotype but I never voice it or even try put it into words and I, like most people don't think that stereotyping is right. Sometimes people think that stereotyping is okay if you may be in danger or could get harmed if you put trust into that person. For example, as a woman walking down that street at night alone or with other girls but not with a man scares me. I'm just one of those people. Where I live there is, unfortunately, a lot of homeless men that sleep in the little huts carved out of the stone against the wall that you have to walk past to get to the bus shelter that I need to get home, there is no way around walking past this wall , trust me I've tired. So, when walking with a male is not an option I start to dream up the worst possible scenarios in my head, I don't know what that homeless man could be using to protect himself, a knife, gun he could be drunk and dangerous, he could be high and not thinking straight. Now of corse I know that this is very unlikely and almost always not true but I cant help but think them but I would never dream of accusing them for being dangerous just because they have no option but to live on the streets. I see it all the time and it does really upset me, cheerleaders benign called dumb, girls with bigger boobs being called fake, shorter skirts and your a slut or your easy. A man plays for a football team and he's labeled a player or a man taking an interest in fashion, hangs out with girls and automatically he's gay. thinking these things is ridiculous but voicing these opinions is just cruel, it sets people apart and not in a good way. It hi lights there differences but these differences are not appreciated or excepted there put to shame from them pushed into a corner and almost all of the time that person is not dumb or a player they just like the activity, there not a slut and there not easy they just like the skirt, there not fake they just run in the family and there not gay they just like fashion and they get on better with girls because lets face it boys can be mean. So please don't do this, those people are just living, just like me, just like you, they have feelings and they can get hurt, it can damage peoples self-seeteam, confidence and self-love. They are different from you and the next person and the next and thats not bad, not bad at all, everyones different thats why stereotyping is wrong, not only can it hurt someones feelings and damage someones self-essteam but it is also useless because there is never a group of people who all do the same thing and all wear the same thing so in reality there should be no categories to put people in simply because we are all different! One day different will be excepted as normal and then stereotyping will be a thing of the past, I can only hope to god that this happens in my lifetime as our society is so broken i'd love to see it fixed and the only way it can be fixed is if people come together to be the glue holding together the pieces filling the worlds cracks with love and expectance again.    

4. loving? and being loved?

"Is it easier to be loving or to be loved?"

Some people say being loved is very easy, some people say being loved is harder now because of societies standards of what is beautiful i.e. body image, makeup, fashion choices etc... But I say being loved is easier for most then being loving. Being loved is simple, being loved is not up to you its up to the person who has decided to love you. When someone doesn't love you or doesn't anymore its not you, you have done nothing and some people say that because you have done nothing is the reason that they are no longer there. That is not right and is not true. when someone leaves or never attempts in the first place to love you. Its not you. Its them, they have given up on themselves, not on you. They have left something wonderful they might never find again, they have accepted that they are not good enough to stick around. When people have told them they can't fight the biggest battle in life, they have gone ahead and accepted that for fact, they have not enough spirit to fight and prove people wrong. They are not strong or powerful enough to keep up with your spirt that accepts what it is and who they are, capable to feel the biggest emotion of them all. love. Because being loved is easy, loving is something only the strongest, most powerful, self-determined and confident spirits are capable of. Loving is hard, loving is tough, you get hurt. BUT you have to be strong to feel it, to fight for it you have to be a warrior you have to be the captain of your soul, be a driver not a passenger. Loving is harder but being loved hurts more. 

3. makeup

My feelings towards this subject are somewhat to strong some may say. In fact I've had people come up to me in the past and tell me to calm down about it, because makeup is all just a bit of fun. Indeed it is, I told them. But you yourself have told me in the past you don't feel at ease without it. My reply to that comment, I carried on, was WHY NOT?!!??!! Your beautiful and covering yourself up when you don't need to is not only pointless and a waste of money and time but its taking away from the natural beauty that you already have. I myself do wear makeup but not all the time and am perfectly okay without it too, and I myself do have quite bad skin, not perfect or flawless in anyway, not even with the foundation and canceller I have cystic acne and it will never be perfect, and I'm okay with that too. Now I know some of you may be thinking well thats all well and good for you Mollie but I am not as confident and I understand that, but its time to learn as if you don't love yourself and your makeup-less face how can you expect anyone else to. I've heard may girls say "I wear it for myself" and "Its just a bit of fun" or "It makes me feel better about myself and so thats a good thing, right?" Yes it is, but why don't you feel better about yourself anyway, with or without the makeup? After all makeup is there not to mask, but to enhance, not to cover but to bring out the natural beauty you already have. Feeling confident is great and I love to hear that people are confident in themselves but being confident with a changed covered up version of yourself is not being confident with YOU! I also agree that makeup is just a bit of fun, changing the shape of your face with contour, or painting your lips red and eyes gold for a christmas party, making your eyeshadow mach your favourite party dress, making yourself look like your favourite celeb but still being able to rub it all off at the end of the night is great, lots of fun actually. But it still brings me onto the same point as before, if it gets to a point where you feel like you have to do this every single time you leave the house is fear of someone seeing your acne, those dark circles because you didn't drink enough or stayed up last night watching Netflix until 3am or those black heads you have around your noes or even that part of your eyebrow that is not as dark as the rest of it, then its gotten to far. You should love your mich-mach eyebrows and your dark circles, love the scars on your face from the bigger spots because if you don't, then who can. If you cover up all the things that show signs of living because all of these things do, and don't let anyone see them, who is supposed to love the real you? Girls especially can get very defensive when faced with this harsh reality, I know I've met and still know a few people who do. These types of people who when faced with comments from people such as "your wearing to much makeup" or "you have a cake face" or sometimes even "under all those layers of makeup there is a person in there somewhere" get very defective, this may be for a number of reasons, 
1. If trying to correct someones makeup, saying it in a nicer way is a good start. 
2. they may be so insecure makeup is the only way that they can feel confident, when critiqued on there makeup they may not feel confident at all, not even a bit. 
3. societies standereds of beauty is very unrealistic. 

going off of point number 3, yes societies standard of beauty is very high sometimes unreachable without cosmetic surgery and then girls and boys get told there fake, its a never ending circle of ridiculousness. I don't feel that I have to meet societies standards of what is attractive anymore, although I used to until someone very close to me who I look up to and respect a lot told me this: beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. simply put, you may think that someone is the most attractive person in the world whilst the next person could say that they are not attractive at all. In other words some people will find you attractive and some people won't. You can't please everyone. The most important thing that I want everyone to take from this is that the most important thing is to love yourself, because loving yourself comes with confidence and confidence is more attractive then any amount of makeup.   

2. girls?

"when you believe that your actions are insignificant to the world and the people inside it, nothing is stopping you from becoming the worst version of yourself" 

A complicated topic even for someone, like me, who loves talking about difficult topics to talk about (with the right people of corse) I like many others have felt the full force of an angry girl/s. I, like many others have also been angry with other girls too, but not to the extent that has happened very recently in fact. I'm not going to name names in fear of waking the dangerous dragon and her evil accomplices out of the dark caverns of the world they call home, but what I am going to say without going into specific details is, what these girls did, it hurt a lot! Now thankfully I was not alone in my journey, if you could call it one witch I think it can because I changed and I learnt, and I of corse am very grateful for those two people (they know who they are). If I could tell the whole female population one thing, It would be this: "Don't let them in unless you want them there in your forever" Same could go for relationships but thats a whole other topic I will only touch on today, but for a moment think, people who use you, pick you up and drop you down when it convenient for them whomever it may be, they are not true souls, they are not worthy of your love, your friendship or your companionship. they are not good, and we, well I don't want those types of people in my life, people who make it hard to get up in the morning and people who ruin dreams, self confidence and self-esteem people who make nasty comments don't have a place in your heart wether they think that have a reason for it or not. I have lost many friends making these types of decisions and am sure to lose may more but it doesn't matter to me, it hurts but not forever, and your forever is what matters the most, after all your forever is going to be forever. This sounds very cheesy and cliche and I am not normally a cheesy kinda gal although I can be cliche at times, this is something that has effected me very close to my heart very recently so its like pouring out a few months of emotion onto one page but many others I know need to hear this and must hear this. If you do this change is the only option. 

1. normal?

I guess most people start with a simple "hey!" and "welcome to my new blog." etc... but thats normal and I don't do normal. Normal never leaves a lasting imprint on someones mind, in other words, no one remembers normal, normal never stands out. People strive to be normal, to be excepted and to be considered "cool" especially in the education environment that I am currently in. In my eyes and probably more people then you may think eyes DIFFERENT is cool. So I'm not starting with hey or welcome I'm starting with: what is different about you? A hobby, passion, interest, obsession?
I am going to start with some of my own, I love drawing, writing, speaking in a debate. I love discovering new and abstract bands - then stalking them until I know there mothers maiden name. I love to wear odd socks and walk bare foot in the long grass outside my house when its all dewy or frosty. I love to be strong, independent and confident in my self,  I love to talk about some of the big questions but most of all I love to express myself freely and not care about what other people may think or say, as at the end of the day, although this may sound cliche and you may have heard it a million times but I'm going to go ahead and say it anyway, WHO CARES! Seriously, you be you and no one else but what you want YOU to be because its totally up to you! . So, why am I starting this little blog? Well, I'm simply recording my feelings while I'm pulled through this weird little stage people like to call life. wether this helps, makes you feel like your not alone, is simply entertaining or makes you laugh I do hope you agree, disagree and just enjoy My Life Untitled because who needs titles and who needs labels?